New rules for the new year

After the first of the year, I just had to update my profiles on facebook and myspace, here's what I added. See what you think:
Basic rules:

I HAVE A JOB NOW!!! Of course, this means a couple
important things:
Between the hours of 0800 and 1700 (0400 and 1300 GMT), I am at work and as such, cannot drop what I'm doing to answer your phone calls on my cell
phone. Don't even think about calling me on the office line, unless you can say what you need to in 30 seconds or less. (There go half of you already.)
The company work for is paying me, not you, so they get my attention
first. (If you think you can do better, make me an offer, but good luck all the same, I really like my job.)
I deal with computer problems all day, so if you have one as well either try 1-800-624-9896, 1-800-369-1409, or 1-888-476-6972. If you ask me, I hope you know a little about computers or you might or might not get the answer that you want to hear about how to fix them. (There's a wonder file recovery tool called FDISK...)
Corollary: If you pay for that advice, you just might get the answer you
want. (Like how to use FDISK properly)
I make a good salary, so I don't deal well with "cheap" food and drink, ie.
Milwaukee's Best (good definition of an oxymoron there), Bud Light, SoCo,
etc... I like good stuff, small batch stuff, stuff where I can actually meet the person that made it, ie. Natty Greene's, Red Oak, Guinness, Laphraig, etc... (This also means I don't waste my money on drinking so much I can't taste it any more)
I wake up early to get to work early. Class may start at 12:00PM, but work doesn't. If you call me at 3AM, you can about guarantee I'll be calling you at 6AM when I get up. That usually goes for the weekend too, since I still get up early. (And by early, I like to watch sunrise. It's a fun time of day. Try it sometime)
If you call me at any time and are intoxicated, one of three things will happen, most likely I'll keep calling you when you are trying to nurse that headache. Just how loud will that ringer go?
I don't install many (I have 2) facebook applications because most are either vaporware or crapware. I don't get into the vampire/werewolf/pirate/ninja/pile of flaming poo applications that seem to be all over the place. Welcome to real
life, it's time to grow up now. The world doesn't care if you've bitten three people today, and if you did, that's when nice Mr. policeman comes and hauls your psychologically-challenged ass to jail for assault and battery.
I work for a public safety related company, we write software that police, fire, and ems agencies use for dispatch and records. As such, I have about the same level of BST (that's Bull Shit Tolerance for the civilians of the world) as a police sergeant or fire captian.
If we happen to be members of the same college fraternity, wow cool. This might be a slap to what you thought brotherhood was all about, but that's about all that's worth out here in the real world. With rare excpetion (like working for the fraternity) it won't get you the job, it won't get you the promotion, and it really annoys some people to keep hearing about it.
Some of you seem to have your entire wardrobe made up of Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, Rainbow sandles, old rush shirts and those wonderful t-shirts that the sororities make for everything from the winter formal to the fact the sun actually rose on Wednesday. April 10th 1991 at 7:10AM in Asheville, NC. If you are one of those people, please, for the love of God (and to keep you off unemployment) go somewhere like a Men's Wearhouse, or S&K, or somewhere that sells what really is a business casual wardrobe. It's not hard, I promise, and most times, the people that work there will take one look at you and see the ancient Birkenstocks, and take pity on you and help you get what you need. If you refuse to do that and still insist that stitched greek letters, torn Holister jeans, Rainbow "sandles" that have mroe holes in the that are best used as a sieve (look that one up there Buffy) are the height of professional attire, it does not make you look relaxed, laid back, or chill, but it does make you look like you can't let go of the college days. Again, grow up just a little and realize the real world starts where college ended.
If you still wanna be my friend on here, let's actually meet face to face or something, you know, be friends. If not, well, it was nice of you to drop by, thanks for your time, and don't forget that the real world really won't care too much if you get hit with the big crowbar of reality when you insist on living in the old days.

I tried not to let the sarcasm get too much in here, but ya know, once it starts, it pretty much keeps on.


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